Did you know that our behaviors can be detected in our body language and our everyday dialogue with those in our peer groups. “You’re so hot. I wish I had your body.” Or “I can’t do it. Will you do it for me?” Or “Go away. Leave me alone.” These words reflect low self-worth and, along with any sarcastic or arrogant language, belay negative BOO. But, because we wear personality masks, internal dialogue is an even more likely indicator of the BOO that’s holding you back from greatness. Reflect on your thoughts. Do you think about running away from something? Do you feel unsafe? Do you obsess about financial insecurity or wish you were out of debt? That is scarcity, the emotion of not feeling worthy. Do you think you are an idiot when you do something wrong? Do you wish you were smarter, stronger, and more attractive? That is shame lurking in your emotional background. Are you constantly thinking about sex? Perhaps you’ve acquired unhealthy sexual energy from your father or mother. Or worse, perhaps you were abused.
These types of negative BOO patterns are rooted deep and are painful to face and overcome. Issues around money, survival, sex, power, and physical-mental health present opportunities for deeper awareness and growth. But we must do the work! Your BOO is most transparent when you consider your relationships with others. You can scan easily for it when you think about people close to you, one at a time, and then consider the issues of money, sex, food, survival, and power. Start by looking at the things you dislike in someone close. Projection is a common reaction to negative emotional BOO. “If you spot it, you probably got it!” Unidentified negative BOO is either repressed or projected. You will have a strong urge to point it out to the people closest to you. Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but not notice the beam on your own? (Mathew 7:3).” Good question. It’s because you’re projecting your own BOO onto others instead of noticing it in yourself.
To eradicate negative BOO, you must first identify it, then turn it from the subject (me) to the object (it). This means to stop saying things like: “Well, that’s just who I am,” and, instead, examine it like you would a shell you picked up on the beach. The shadow is revealed when viewed as an object, not an indelible part of your personality. Any object that can be observed can be understood. Next week I will introduce the process called recapitulation as a useful tool to help you become aware of and eradicate your BOO.