Mark Divine [00:03:39]:
But as you know, those things don’t lead to lasting happiness or peace of mind or a life with no regrets. Often they do lead to regrets and they do lead to anxiety and burnout and not that peace of mind and happiness that we actually are looking for. And so we end up getting toward the end of your life and be like, you know, you could be surrounded by yachts and homes and all sorts of complexity and be absolutely, utterly miserable. And many of those people are. Or you can get to the end of your life and have nothing and be completely peaceful and happy. Well, I suggest that we have whatever we want or whatever we need and be happy and peaceful. And so that’s what we can gain from this integrated development, whole person development. Because we’re not lopsided in the Western culture.

Mark Divine [00:04:27]:
We’re very lopsided. And we skew and double click on action and bias and what we consider to be the Yang side, the masculine energy, right? And the staunch individualism of this Western culture, in particular America. And so what that leads to is this constant grasping for more, right? More accomplishments, more certifications, more degrees. I fell into that myself. I mean, look at me. MBA, CPA, PhD, Navy SEAL, who cares? Ultimately, none of that matters. You come into this world with your fists closed and you go out with your palms open. What can you possibly take with you? By the way, that’s a Kapir quote.

Mark Divine [00:05:07]:
I don’t take credit for that one. So because we’ve been trained and steeped in this culture that has us always grasping and looking for success and measures of, of well being or being meaningful outside of ourselves, then we don’t cultivate the inner peace and happiness which is our natural state. And so that is the other side of the equation which we develop hand in glove, right? Which is the yin side, the yin perspective, the feminine, which means to be receptive, to be open, to be compassionate, to be forgiving, to experience loving kindness, to let things go right, to not be so wrapped up in your righteousness and your judgmentalism and thinking, you have to be perfect. So with that approach, it’s a process of letting go. So on one side we have a process of gaining and attaining and striving, and the other side we have a process which is exactly the opposite, which is to let go and to surrender and to accept things the way they are. And these two are absolutely complementary. In fact, to be whole, you need to do both to live the life that you want, to have the Peace of mind and the health, wealth, success that you want or deserve, you got to do both. So that’s what we do.

Mark Divine [00:06:28]:
That’s my philosophy and the methodology I’ve chosen that I’ve iterated over the years I call five mountain training. And five mountains are the five domains or disciplines or areas of extreme interest to us that dominate a lot of people, dominate everyone’s lives. And they are physical. Your physical evidence of existence, your body, your health, right, how you move in the world. People are radically body obsessed and spend most of their waking hours basically feeding, exercising and navigating this body through the world and relationships. So we’re very body focused. That’s why we start there, because we want to soften our grip with the body, but also strengthen the body and purify it. So it’s a fit vessel.

Mark Divine [00:07:16]:
It’s a very perfect, awesome tool for us to move about and to accomplish our mission. The second mountain is the mental domain. And this is really getting control of your thinking processes, understanding how the mind, where it’s opening up to your whole mind, which includes your heart and your gut minds, and to be able to balance left and right hemispheric thinking and to tap into insight, intuition and instinctual energy. There’s a lot there, right? And that requires training. And so we have a dedicated process for training the mental mountain. The third area that’s a big one for everyone is the emotional mountain. So the emotional mountain really has to do with your own relationship with yourself, your childhood traumas and your response to those traumas and how they show up as an adult, which usually isn’t pretty, as well as your ability to connect with others at a deep level and to not project all your stuff or transfer your stuff onto them. And so this is difficult work.

Mark Divine [00:08:18]:
It’s work that most men in particular shy away from. They have an intellectual understanding of it and they think great. I read John Goldman’s EQ book and I think I really get it. But they don’t get it. And so we want to double click on the emotional mountain and spend a lot of time there really clearing up that stuff. And you can’t do that if your mind is out of control and your body is unhealthy. So this is why physical comes first, then mental and then emotional work. And the fourth mountain is intuition.

Mark Divine [00:08:45]:
So really, as you develop physical health and clarity and strength and purity as well as mental focus, clarity, concentration, attention, control, and opening up the whole mind and emotional maturity and awareness, suddenly you will have access to the very subtle intuitional Cues that your gut, your heart and your brain is offering you through direct insight, direct perception, empathic understanding, and instinctual intuition. That’s the intuition mountain. Now, that brings me to the fourth and our fifth and final mountain, which is today’s discussion. And that is what we use the term kokoro. You could say spiritual, but I decided to not use the term spiritual because I think the term is a little bit poisoned, you know, to say, to use a word, it’s probably not the best word, but it means something different to everybody. For some people, it means religious. Others have a wu fu kind of new wage kind of orientation to it. So instead of using that term more close to the truth is the word kokoro, which is a Japanese kind of warrior term, which means a couple things merging your heart and your mind into your actions, or through your actions, right, bringing heart, mind into your actions.

Mark Divine [00:10:07]:
So that’s one definition. Another is whole mind, which is exactly what I said. This whole process of integration, developing yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, intuitionally, spiritually, and looking at those all aspects of your mind. Kokoro means whole mind, and it also means integration. So bringing all that together, bringing it all together so that you don’t experience life just as a body carrying around a bunch of thoughts in a brain that happens to occasionally experience some emotions, it’s all together, and the experience is one rich experience of witnessing life unfold spontaneously, effortlessly. Another Japanese term called shibumi, effortless perfection and joyously, as opposed to constantly, always in this kind of planning, striving, egoic kind of struggle, which is exhausting and will ultimately lead to burnout. So integration, kokoro, whole mind, is ultimately the fruits of our labor. There’s really not much doingness in this mountain.

Mark Divine [00:11:22]:
I don’t have practices for you like we’re going to go practice kokoro. But there are certain things that can stimulate clarity and movement toward integration in the Kokoro mountain. Now, the first and most important is the work of the other four mountains. So kokoro integration comes together and happens through daily practices, weekly practices, and even monthly quarterly practices around the physical, mental, emotional and intuitional mountains. And I discussed those at length in the previous podcast on those subjects. Now, Kokoro Mountain, one of the beautiful outcomes of that five mountain integration training and the time you spend in particular in the internal practices of box breathing, contemplation, mindfulness, witnessing, concentration, training, is that you begin to open up to that intuition that I mentioned earlier in that fourth mountain. And one of the intuitive things that you open up to Is your sense of why you’re here on this planet. I’ll call that your calling, right? Or what the Eastern tradition would call your dharma, your reason for being.

Mark Divine [00:12:34]:
Everyone’s got a reason for being. And it’s more of an archetypal energy than it is an actual thing that you do. Now. It may align, right? You may say, okay, my reason for being is a warrior. And that was the experience that I had when I was in my 20s, meditating. I experienced that I was meant to be a warrior. Now, the way I fulfilled that initially was to warrior up and leave the path that I was on, which was to be a CPA getting my MBA and become a millionaire like all of my peers in Wall Street. And so it took some warrior skills for me to say, no, not that.

Mark Divine [00:13:13]:
That’s not my life. That’s not my path. That’s not who I’m supposed to be. I’m supposed to be a real warrior. And then I shifted my focus to becoming an actual military special operations warrior through the Navy seals. And so I fulfilled that warriorness need, which was my calling, by becoming an actual special operator warrior. But it didn’t end there. If I had said that my calling was to be a Navy seal, that would limit me.

Mark Divine [00:13:42]:
That’s something that you do. It’s a career, a job. It’s not who I am. So think about that. When you talk about Kokoro Mountain. We’re looking for the essential nature of who you are in your beingness. And that always has an archetypal energy like warrior or healer or entertainer or even just nurturer as a mother or father. So it can be very, very simple or producer of food.

Mark Divine [00:14:14]:
You know, there’s probably a better word for that, like someone who is working with the earth to bring the healing qualities of high quality, high prana food to the world. That is an incredible calling. So. But you could fulfill that in any number one of jobs or careers. So this is probably one of the most important outcomes and even practices of the Kokoro Mountain is really sitting with and asking, what is my calling? What am I here for? What am I meant for? And the tool that we use in unbuild mind, we call the three Ps. And the three Ps are to really reflect upon and answer questions about what’s my purpose? That would be akin to your calling. Why am I on this planet? What’s my purpose? And then the second P is what am I passionate about? Right? Because now we’re getting closer, similar to the ikigai principle from Japanese culture, where you look at what you’re really passionate about and what you’re really good at and what the world needs and wants, and somewhere in the center, you’ve got a path toward a fulfilling life. So the third P is principles.

Mark Divine [00:15:21]:
What are my principles? Now, if you answer, I’ve got these questions in my book and be all mind, and I think also the way of the seal, you can start to really elicit. And this is from your heart in your quiet time, right? It’ll come to you. The answers will come to you. Like, what am I purpose? Why am I on this planet? What’s my archetypal reason for being here? For me, it’s warrior teacher, maybe even sage someday, right? But they all connect. What’s yours? What’s your archetypal energy? And that’s your calling. That’s your purpose. I would also add that your purpose is to grow and evolve. But in order to grow and evolve, you got to do it in your unique way.

Mark Divine [00:16:09]:
If I tried to grow and evolve in someone else’s way like yours, then I wouldn’t be fulfilling my calling, and I would actually be doing some harm to myself and others. So you may say, well, my overarching purpose is to grow and evolve, right? Spiritually or emotionally or, you know, whatever. And I would say, yes, that’s true, but your way of doing that is going to be unique. So that’s your calling and principles. Principles are really important because, you know, we all have a different set of values, and those are dualistic values, by the way. And the more you can align with universal values, the better and get away from relativistic thinking. But you’re still going to want to have us. And that itself is a stance, is a stance to align with universal values as opposed to relativistic values, which always lead to some form of conflict.

Mark Divine [00:17:00]:
And so you want to think about, like, what are my principles? Because the principles will then inform your directionality, right, in terms of your mission and how you fulfill your calling. Because you don’t want to operate outside of your principles or outside of your values, because those are, you know, they become your guardrails. So what are my principles? And then finally back to passion. What am I really passionate about? Like, if I said my calling was to be a warrior and my principles were to, you know, I wanted to defend my country and work with elite leaders and to do extremely challenging work, because that’s going to be how I best grow. Well, great, then Navy SEAL makes sense for me. But what if I wasn’t passionate. Passionate about fitness. And what if I wasn’t passionate about doing crazy, dangerous things? Then the Navy Seals wouldn’t be a fit for me.

Mark Divine [00:17:50]:
So you want to make sure that your principles, your passions, and this sense of purpose all intersect. They all line up. And in that sweet spot where they all line up, that’s called kokoro. That’s whole mind thinking. That’s integration. I think that’s really powerful. So. So that’s a practice to really reflect upon those three Ps.

Mark Divine [00:18:12]:
I do it every morning, but initially it takes some time. You sit with it at the end of your box breathing and your meditation practice, and you just ask those questions and you just make notes. It’s called contemplation. Make notes. And you want to distill it down to really simple statements that really reflect as close to the heart as you can, what you are, who you are, and how ultimately you’re going to show up in the world. So I’ll kind of wrap up here. One of the ways that these 3Ps can come to life is a practice we call the future self. Now, this practice shows up in the mental mountain, but it actually crosses all five mountains.

Mark Divine [00:18:55]:
Because the future self is the invoked or spontaneous vision of that future version of yourself that is acting in total alignment with your purpose and your principles and your passions. So you visualize this first, but ultimately that image kind of comes to you from your spiritual center or from your future self. Again, this is non linear, non dualistic thinking that that future is already simultaneously happening. So you’re just tapping into that. It’s a very powerful practice to develop clarity around this idea of integration and alignment and who you are becoming. Final quick story. When I did my meditation sessions with my meditation teacher, Mr. Tadashi Nakamura, he would, at the end of our hour, sit.

Mark Divine [00:19:53]:
He would have a little chalkboard kind of dharma talk with us. And one of my favorite, he wrote down, one day, one lifetime. And I think this sums up the idea of kokoro really well. Like, you have one day, and that’s all you have. You have today. It’s like Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. Piglet asks Pooh, what day is it today? And Pooh says, it’s today. And Piglet says, oh, today is my favorite day.

Mark Divine [00:20:18]:
That’s because it’s our only day. The only easy day was yesterday. The only day you have is today. One day, one lifetime. And so if today is all you have, how are you going to live? Don’t you want to live in alignment? With your calling? Don’t you want to live on purpose with your solid principles and doing something you’re passionate about? Don’t you want to live in an integrated fashion so you have no regrets? Well, it’s possible, right? You can do it. You can do it with a lot of attention, a lot of presence and stop living by other people’s needs or wants to include culture, to include social media, to include the government, to include your family, to include your church. You just go within, look within, look within, look within and uncover who you’re meant to be and live it. Bring it to the world.

Mark Divine [00:21:07]:
It’s an incredible gift. Thanks for joining me today. This is Mark Divine and the Mark Divine Show. Super stoked to be here. Come back next time. Share this with your friends. Show notes will be [email protected], video will be on our YouTube channel. Just search for Mark Divine show on YouTube.

Mark Divine [00:21:24]:
Shout out to John Dahlgrim at Jet Studio and Catherine Divine who helped me produce this show. And ratings and reviews are very helpful. So if you haven’t done so, please do it. Shooting for 50005 star reviews at least at Apple and everywhere else. And finally, thanks for showing up and for doing the work and for being part of the change that you want to see in the world. We can do that at scale with technology like this. So who yah part of the team. Thanks.

Mark Divine [00:21:53]:
Divine out. Nice.